In the words of a popular song from the '70s, "We don't know what we've got till it's gone." It's a sad fact that many of us take the best things in life for granted and only begin to appreciate them after they're gone. This is increasingly true for parents today, as more and more children are being recruited into the "gay" lifestyle.All of a parent's hopes and dreams for his child are suddenly darkened when he gets the bad news. It is likely that many of our readers are parents whose child has already "come out" to them as "gay." Others know or suspect that their child is involved in one or more homosexual relationships.In either case, it's too late to "recruit-proof" the child.But it's never too late for a child to recover his innate heterosexual orientation. However, as is so often true of things that we let "get out of hand," addressing this problem will take much more work than taking preventive action would have.Helping your "prodigal" son or daughter to recover from homosexuality will require more love, more patience, more understanding, and more humility from you than you may have ever given in the past.It will also require an honest desire to change on the part of your child.Sadly, this combination of parent and child commitment to recovery is rare.

The Spider's Web

Typically, families of children who are recruited into homosexuality have poor parent/child communication.Thus, many children who experience gender identity confusion or feelings of sexual desire for persons of the same sex don't approach their parents during the early and most treatable stages of these problems.Instead, they go to someone else, a school counselor, a parent of a friend, an older friend or relative -- someone who appears more available and sympathetic to these types of problems. Unfortunately, these "sympathetic souls" are often people who have "bought in" to sexual orientation theory; some of them will be homosexuals themselves.Indeed, most of the organizations dedicated to "helping" children with questions about homosexuality (such as Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays -- PFLAG) are, quite literally, arms of the "gay" movement itself.Activists in these organizations are trained to discourage kids from approaching their parents until their "gay" identity is firmly established. Instead of getting help to overcome their problem, "gay"-vulnerable children become ensnared in the web of the "gay" community and parents only learn of the problem after their child has been fully assimilated into the homosexual subculture.

Notice that in this analysis we have not mentioned the physical homosexual seduction of children.We have described the more dangerous and insidious form of "gay" recruitment which attempts to indoctrinate the minds of the children themselves.Remember that in Step One we defined "gay" recruitment as the process of shaping opinions and attitudes about the "gay" lifestyle in such a way that a person is made more likely to initiate or respond positively to homosexual overtures.We also showed how, using sexual orientation theory, "gay" activists cause every child who comes under their influence to question whether he or she might be "gay." Throughout this book we have showed how "gay" propaganda misleads the public, especially young people, about homosexuality, the "gay" movement and its opponents.Finally, in this chapter, we see the endgame -- what is called, in sales, the "close." The young person, bombarded from early childhood with the messages that "gay" is good, that he himself might be "gay," and that opponents of the "gay" movement (including his parents) are "homophobic" and untrustworthy, voluntarily presents himself at the door of the "gay" community, looking for answers to his troubling questions.Inside, with smiles of understanding and acceptance await experienced "gay" recruiters who themselves once stood at that same door."Come in," they beckon warmly, "We've been waiting for you. You're finally home."

When it's "too late": It's not! Change is possible.The personality is more fluid than many would otherwise believe.[Parents] with a child who has homosexual issues should...bend over backwards to avoid critical relating and shaming.They should affirm the child as a person in the image of God, but should not in any way identify the child as a homosexual.The child is not a homosexual.To take on that identity is to lose a big battle...[O]ffer the notion that healing is possible [without pushing too hard]...pushing them only makes them push back, or seek [counseling] for the wrong reasons.

To the uninitiated, "coming out" is simply a term for announcing to others that one is "gay."In reality, "coming out" is a multi-purpose tactic for advancing the "gay" agenda -- part psychological conditioning (of the new recruit), part political grandstanding.Rather than being a single event, "coming out" involves a process which begins with "gay"-affirming counseling (which activists describe as "coming out" to oneself) and culminates with a declaration to the world.Assimilation into the "gay" community through homosexual relationships and political activities makes up the greater part of the "coming out" process for most fledgling "gays."The "coming out" process is used by the "gay" movement to ensure the psychological commitment of its members.Any public declaration has this effect (consider how difficult it is for couples to break off an engagement to be married after they have announced it publicly), but an announcement that one is homosexual virtually "locks the door and throws away the key" to the possibility of changing one's mind. Other declarations can be recanted, and will have minimal lasting effect, but declaring oneself "gay" means branding oneself with a stigma that is all but impossible to erase.

For this reason, parents should strongly discourage a child from making a public declaration of his "gay" self-label.Parents can often prevent such a declaration because "coming out" to parents is usually a preliminary stage to going public. If a public announcement seems imminent you might approach the issue by asking the child to delay the announcement until after he or she has had the chance to talk with an experienced recovery counselor or an ex-homosexual.

A common emotional response shared by parents of self-identified "gays" is guilt.The "gay" movement is poised to exploit this emotion as part of the process of guiding a new recruit through the process of "coming out" to you.PFLAG was created for this purpose.The PFLAG strategy is to use emotional blackmail and coercion to transform every parent of a self-identified "gay" into a spokesperson for the "gay" cause.The message given is that if you really loved your child, you would accept his or her lifestyle (not just accept him or her as a person). Typically, a parent is accused of being ignorant and "homophobic" if he or she does not embrace the child's homosexual choice.No opposition to homosexuality is deemed acceptable: only full acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle itself is applauded.

Your best response to the PFLAG tactic is to reject it but not your child.Love the child, but don't condone the lifestyle.In sorting through these issues, you can take advantage of an organization called Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX).In terms of offering hope for recovery, PFLAG says "tough luck," but PFOX offers genuine "tough love" and the chance of heterosexual normalcy and emotional health for your child.

”What I am saying is that being gay is an acquired identity....Since homosexuality is an acquired identity, it makes sense that you can choose to change that identity....‘Once gay, always gay?’ That is what I used to think. Not anymore.” Jeff Conrad, You Don’t Have To Be Gay, p.11, 1992.

Never Give Up Hope

As the parent of a self-identified "gay," a parent who desires recovery for his child, you should know that several factors can work in your favor. First, sexual orientation is not immutable; people can and do change their sexual identity every day.Second, the "gay" lifestyle is not gay, but miserable.We believe that every homosexual eventually wants out.Try to be there with encouraging words when that happens.Third, the ex-"gay" movement is growing stronger every day.In time, it may be able to reach your child through its own network of recovered homosexuals.

Try to imagine your child as he was when he was first learning to walk, or ride a bike, or to multiply fractions.He needed your strength, sympathy, patience and love then, and he needs it today even more.Never accept his comfort with his disorder as the final word.Always offer hope for change; always have unconditional love for the person caught in the "gay" lifestyle.